Shall we have a talk?

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends about sex, as I have said in some of my past blogs, we as a country tend not to talk too much about sex and that when we do we seem to get this idea that we need to exaggerate everything that we have done.

A big part of sex is that everyone has different likes and dislikes and because of this it can be hard to keep a relationship going, a good example of this is that me and my friend both know what we like when it comes to the bedroom but we discovered this by sleeping with many different partners. I should also point out that the two of us discovered this at a different partner numbers (the number of people we have slept with.) With this information we have tried to find partners that like what we like or are willing to try what we like.  

The thing is that if you are unsure of what you like when it comes to sex you don’t have to worry about it because as I just said everyone is different and it can take time for you to discover what turns you on.

It also brings me to the question about how much sex is needed to make a good relationship? The problem with this question is that everyone again is different and because of this one person could say that having sex everyday is good for their relationship while someone else might say that twice a week is good enough for them. As I said in my reflection blog, last year wasn’t the best of years for me and partner but this year I am doing everything that I can to make up for lost time and to get the ball rolling I had to be very blunt about it.

I should mention that it isn’t always best to do it that way because it could back fire on you but at the same time being blunt about some things might open both your eyes to what needs to be done in the first place.

Now when it comes to talking about sex you just need to be upfront and honest about it, there is no point in going over board by telling stories that aren’t true or have been exaggerate because there could be a time that you meet up with someone that you want to sleep with and that when you do finally sleep with them they could discovers that you aren’t as good as you made yourself out to be. Plus we all know that at some point in the relationship the question about how many people you have slept with will come up so again just be honest about it.

It is also good to talk about sex with those that are close to you because you might be able to learn something from them which you might like to try out with your partner but if that is the case try to make a point of not telling them where you heard or knew about this because again it could open up a can of worms that you might not be able to answer and in turn could end the relationship.

Sex has and will always be about showing someone what you like and dislike while at the same time pleasuring one another but when it comes to long term relationships and sex, talking with your partner and asking what they would like to do or try is a very helpful thing to do and again if they don’t know what they like then talk to them about it and see what they feel comfortable doing.

If you are still stuck for idea’s, watching a bit of porn can help out but remember that not everything in porn is as good as they make it out and like with all things watching it all the time when you are together could end up creating a problem that you might have to answer for.

At the end of the day sex is a very important part of any relationship and that if you want the relationship to last and stay healthy then you are going to need to talking about sex and if there is something that you don’t like or you are not comfortable with then again talk about it before hand.

Until Next Time.  

The last and most important thing to think about and something that I should also point out is that if you are having sex think about using some form of protection so that you don’t wake up one morning with a something you didn’t want.

Friends with Benefits

“You can’t be friends with the opposite sex without sleeping with them.”

Today I will be looking at the above quote that I have been hearing a lot over the past few years and if there is one thing that I have noticed is that it tends to be coming from those that are a lot younger than me. I know that we live in a country(UK) that tends to not talk too much about sex and that as we are now talking more about sex this quote has come about, but I do believe that this quote is a little over the top.

Friends is a word that get thrown about quite a bit these days but the bottom line is that friends are people that you can talk to and know inside and out without any motives behind your or their actions, while those that you work with and don’t know that well are what I would like to call acquaintances and tend to be the ones that you have a little attraction to and just end up having a one night stand with them or leaving things the way they are.

In reality if every male and female were sleeping with their friends then there wouldn’t be any long term relationships and because of this I have some theories as to why people believe that it okay for us to be sleeping with are friends and why this quote has appeared from that.

One of those theories is that both parties are involved in a long term relationship with someone else and that they have become bored with their relationship and have decided that sleeping with a friend or someone that they have become attracted too for a “no strips attached” relationship is away in which they are trying to spice up their love life’s.

My second theory is that someone may not have the confidence or feels like they lack the experience in the bedroom and believe that sleeping with a close friend will help them.

The one thing that tends to get over looked when friends sleep with friends is those that get caught in the middle of it all, I know that I have been luck mainly because If I have gotten bored with someone I have had the ball to say that the relationship is over and start looking for someone else and that is what you should being doing in the first place.

Now the part that tends to get over looked the most when people say that they are sleeping with their friends is the part about being attracted to someone in the first place. You don’t just sleep with someone because you want to sleep with them because deep down there is something inside you telling you that you are attracted to them and because of that you want to sleep with them. Yes I am also aware that as you get to know the opposite sex more sometimes you get feeling for said person and you do act on it.

If you are in ever of this two positions then I believe that you may want to your evaluate yourself and your relationship. If you are sleeping with someone for the experiences then at least you are being honest with yourself but at the same time are you sleeping you need to be asking yourself are you attracted to them.

So can you have a friendship with the opposite sex without sleeping with them, yes you can because a true friend is someone that is close to you that can help you when you need them. If you are sleeping with a friend then it means one of two things, one being that you have feeling with them and don’t want to admit that you want a relationship with them and second that you want to screw them just because you have some kind of attraction too them.

Until next time

Valentine’s Day

Now as you can guess today is Valentine’s day and like everyone else that has someone special in their lives I will be spending today with my other half but before I do, I thought that I would spend some time talking to you about what Valentine’s day is and what it means to everyone.

First of all I should point out that Valentine’s Day comes from very early Christian saint called Valentinus, who would married off solider to lovers that they were forbidden to be with and because of this he was imprisoned for his actions, it was also believed that when Valentinus passed away he had wrote down the words “from your Valentine”. It wasn’t until the 15^th century that Valentine’s Day became known as a day of love around the world and that the idea of giving cards and gifts wasn’t introduced until the 19^th century.

As you can see the meaning of today has always been about love and that all time has done is given us away in which we can express it more clearly to one another.

For me Valentine’s Day has become something of a hallmark day in which card companies and allsorts find away to hike up prices to increase their bottom line and that the media makes out that if you want a happy relationship you need to spend a lot of money. As I said in my last post I don’t have a problem with the day but I do have a problem with money side of it.

Love does not have to cost a fortune, just look at the way in which the Japanese celebrate today, they believe that the 14^th February is where all the woman in Japan give their male lovers or the person that doesn’t know they like them chocolates and that the males get to repay this on the 14^th of March by giving them a gift that isn’t chocolate.

The only problem that I do have with this is that I am not a massive fan of chocolate but on the plus it keeps cost low and it also gives you more time to think about what you can get that person in return, (that is if you want to but as this is Japan and as there people are very proud you would still return the good gesture in your own way).

Sometimes the best part about Valentine’s Day is receiving a gift or a card from someone that hasn’t left their name or you didn’t know like you in that way. Too me this can be very romantic because if you are unsure to begin with you can sit from afar and see what happens because if they are interest then you can make a move and if they are not you can just let it go.

But there is always one thing that companies forget to tell you and that is love is not to be shown on just this one day, we should all take some time out from our busy lives and make time to show the ones we love or like that we want to be with them.

For me I am now going to get everything ready for a nice romantic night in with the other half, so until next time.

What brought us together?

As you are all aware we have now entered the month of February and with that come the Hallmark day of all days, Valentine’s Day. Now I have nothing against this day and why should I because I do believe that having one day a year in which we can celebrate our loved ones is a good idea, come on the Japanese do it twice a year with February the 14^th and March the 14^th, (I will get into this later on in the month.)

As I have said a moment ago I have nothing against this month or Valentine’s Day and to a point I can sometimes find myself trying to be or am a hopeless romantic and in the past I have done some really weird shit to back this up.

A good example of this would be that I used to have a very large group of woman friends and that one year when I didn’t have anyone to share this day with I agreed to work the late night. What I found out a few days before was that everyone I was working with that night were also single, so to make them feel better I decided to by two dozen red roses and give all the single ladies two roses each to hopefully make them feel better (and before you ask no I didn’t have any ulterior motive behind it and yes you can have a lady friend and not have benefits with them and yes I will come to this all this by the end of this month.)

So as you can see I have done some weird shit over the years some of it I am proud of and some of it not, but this is not the reason we are here today.

Back at the beginning of January I ended up have a conversation with a couple of people from work who both said to me that they were thankful to god for their husband and their partner. Now at the time I wanted to write a blog about this but then decided to wait for two reason, one begin that I was going to cover relationship topics on my blog in February and that it would be a good jumping of spot for the rest of the month and second I wanted to make sure that I knew what my counter argument was going to be before I rushed in and wrote this, so let’s get started.

First of all, I have no problem with anyone’s religion as long as it is not thrust in my face all the time and second when it comes to love we as a species and may animals only have two reason to be in love with someone, first and most importantly is to reproduce and second for pleasure. With those out of the way let’s get to the details of why I believe god has nothing to do with you ending up being with the person you are with at the moment.

Now the first thing that comes to most of us when we are looking to date the opposite sex is what that person looks like and I believe this is the biggest contributing fact as to the reason why we end up approach someone in the first place. If you take a moment to thing about this you will realise that in your head you have already gotten a picture of what you would like a woman to look like (and no not the celebrate you want to date).

For argument sack you are looking for some that has nice eyes, good cheek bones, a big smile, long or short hair (add your own colour), a rough height, build and of course bust.

With that information along you already know what you are looking for before you even leave the house so all you have to do is fill in the blanks and go up to someone that you like the look of. I am fully aware that there is more to a woman than looks and I would be a testament to this because I have always believe that forty percent of the reason you go out with someone is because of their looks and the other sixty percent is down to intelligence and what you two have in common. The problem is that you can’t judge a book by its cover because you can’t go out with someone just on looks and that it takes time to build any kind of relationship with someone.

The other thing that you have to take into consideration is that for any relationship to work you have to put a lot of effect and work into it on both sides. While doing this you sometimes discovery that the two of you are not compatible and because of this the relationship ends and you go your own ways.

So I now come back to my original comment about having been in a conversation with two colleagues and them saying that they were thankful to god for their husband or partner because at the end of the day god has nothing to do with the reason as to why you two have met and the way in which the relationship turned out because it all comes down to what you as a person are attracted to and how much work or a like you are together that makes the relationship last.

Before I end today I should point out that media tries to tell us what good looks like and to me this is wrong, we all have different type of woman or man that we like the look off and because of this the media should show stop trying to impose its views on us. So if you are going out looking for the right woman or man for you then please find someone that you like the look of and not someone else trying to tell you what you should be looking for.

Until next time.