We all have one

Here’s a question for everyone, do you have a friend or know someone that goes out of their way to annoy everyone around them, by telling them all the same story or a problem that they may have.

If you do, then you already know how I feel when I end up in this situation and if not then I will try and explain it to you, once you have heard said story more than twice you tend to at first just switch off and say a few words here and there when needed in a hopes that they well hurry up. Then if you hear the story a few more times you started to get annoyed, begin to feel your blood boil, you just completely switch off  and don’t say anything in a hopes that they will just shut up.

Now you might be asking yourself why have, I chosen this topic for this week blog and the reason is because I have now reached a point in my life where I can’t take anymore of this crap and I hope to make others aware that there are two groups that make up this people. The first group are the ones that tell the same story each and every time and the second group are those that have a problem with another person and want to tell everyone why they have a problem with said person.

Now the first group that I will be looking at are the ones that spend all their time talking about the same stories over and over again, I just can’t understand why someone would want to spend all that time retelling the same story. I understand the fact that when you meet someone new and they make a comment about something that relates to said story you feel like telling them about it but have you ever through about not telling them straight away. I should also point out that these stories can be funny and make up who you are but at the same time it can get a bit boring for those that already heard it.

The last group are those that talk about those they have a problem with.  I know that we are all victims of this one because I know that I too have done it in the past but I know that only my closest friends have been told about it and if they ask about said person I will talk about it but otherwise I try not to. The problem I have are the ones that like to update you every minute something new comes to light and these are the ones that annoy me the most.

If you happen to be one of the ones that do have a problem with someone else then take a bit of my advice, If you do have a problem with someone else then go over to them and talk to them about the problem and if you don’t want to do then just ignore them.

I understand that we all have stories that we all want to tell others about, we all have disagreements with others and that it is easier to talk to your closes friends about it but ask yourself one question, do they want to hear about it each time you meet them? We all have to get things off our chest but find out first which friends what to hear about it first before you tell everyone.

Until Next Time

Advice

Today I am going to spend a bit of time talking about something we are all good at but at the same time not good at following up and that is giving and acting upon advice.

If there is one thing that we are all good at doing is giving advice to other when they need it and I will confess that if there is someone that asks for my advice I will gladly give it. The two things that I have also noticed with this is the fact that we tend to not act upon the advice that has been given to us and second that when we end up in the same situation that we have once given advice on before we tend not to use our own advice, so why is this?

Now to answer the last part of that question is very easy because I remember being told by someone that we tend not to like using the same advice that we have given to someone else due to the fact of us not knowing what the consequences are. The other part you also have to remember is that if we do decided to use our own advice we have no one else but ourselves to blame if everything goes wrong and that is something we as a species don’t like doing because we like to blame others for our mistakes (most of the time).

So why do we enjoy giving others advice on other people’s problems to begin with, the reason behind this is because we like to see how they would handle themselves in the same problem and second to see if they can see something that we can’t see or can see but don’t want to admit to ourselves.

An example of what I am mean is if we take one of my ex-girlfriend, the two of us were in an on again and off again relationship for the whole relationship. I knew from the very first break up that the relationship wasn’t for me and that was due to the fact that I wanted more from the relationship than what she was going to give me. So when I took the time to talk to my friends about it they all said the same thing that I had said, about how she wasn’t right for me and that they also believed that she was using me which could have been true.

As you can see from the example my friends got the idea that she was using me which could have been true but was something that I didn’t see right away (but when I look back at it I could see what they meant), they also said that the relationship wasn’t for me. Now when it came to giving out advice on the subject they said I should one dump her and find someone else and second was that I should confront her and tell her what I wanted from the relationship.

I will be the first to admit that both of this came to mind but at the same time I also dismissed the second option due to the fact that the two of us had spoken at the beginning of the relationship about what we wanted out of the relationship and at the beginning we both wanted the same thing but we just couldn’t get it to work which left the whole dumping part.

If I dumped her I already knew what the outcome was going to be but I didn’t want to go with that advice or my own advice to dump her because part of me was comfortable with the way the relationship was when we did get back together.

So as you can see from my example it is easy to tell another person that you trust what the problem is and for them to give you advice on what you should do in that situation but when it comes to acting on it you may not act on it because you are afraid of what the outcomes could be or you could be happy with the way things are.

At the end of the day we all act to problems differently and we also like to see how other would act in the same situation as us, when it comes to giving out and using advice it comes down to what you really want to do, if you are happy with the way things are you won’t do anything and if you want to change things you will act on the advice of other or lastly if it gets too much you could just make the decision yourself.

Until Next Time

Friends with Benefits

“You can’t be friends with the opposite sex without sleeping with them.”

Today I will be looking at the above quote that I have been hearing a lot over the past few years and if there is one thing that I have noticed is that it tends to be coming from those that are a lot younger than me. I know that we live in a country(UK) that tends to not talk too much about sex and that as we are now talking more about sex this quote has come about, but I do believe that this quote is a little over the top.

Friends is a word that get thrown about quite a bit these days but the bottom line is that friends are people that you can talk to and know inside and out without any motives behind your or their actions, while those that you work with and don’t know that well are what I would like to call acquaintances and tend to be the ones that you have a little attraction to and just end up having a one night stand with them or leaving things the way they are.

In reality if every male and female were sleeping with their friends then there wouldn’t be any long term relationships and because of this I have some theories as to why people believe that it okay for us to be sleeping with are friends and why this quote has appeared from that.

One of those theories is that both parties are involved in a long term relationship with someone else and that they have become bored with their relationship and have decided that sleeping with a friend or someone that they have become attracted too for a “no strips attached” relationship is away in which they are trying to spice up their love life’s.

My second theory is that someone may not have the confidence or feels like they lack the experience in the bedroom and believe that sleeping with a close friend will help them.

The one thing that tends to get over looked when friends sleep with friends is those that get caught in the middle of it all, I know that I have been luck mainly because If I have gotten bored with someone I have had the ball to say that the relationship is over and start looking for someone else and that is what you should being doing in the first place.

Now the part that tends to get over looked the most when people say that they are sleeping with their friends is the part about being attracted to someone in the first place. You don’t just sleep with someone because you want to sleep with them because deep down there is something inside you telling you that you are attracted to them and because of that you want to sleep with them. Yes I am also aware that as you get to know the opposite sex more sometimes you get feeling for said person and you do act on it.

If you are in ever of this two positions then I believe that you may want to your evaluate yourself and your relationship. If you are sleeping with someone for the experiences then at least you are being honest with yourself but at the same time are you sleeping you need to be asking yourself are you attracted to them.

So can you have a friendship with the opposite sex without sleeping with them, yes you can because a true friend is someone that is close to you that can help you when you need them. If you are sleeping with a friend then it means one of two things, one being that you have feeling with them and don’t want to admit that you want a relationship with them and second that you want to screw them just because you have some kind of attraction too them.

Until next time

Blast from the Past

“A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time.”

What better way than to start a today’s blog than by using a definition of a word from the dictionary. Today I will be looking at the term Nostalgia and what this means to us, before I start there is one thing that I have noticed and that is we all seem to us the definition of the word when we are talking about our fond memories to one another but when we talk about video games we seem to us the word so readily, so why is this?

Now my understanding behind these small details is that when we are talking about our past it just does seem right to mention the word nostalgia while we are talking about something personal because it just doesn’t give us the depth we are trying to portrait, but when we talking about a video game we use the word nostalgia straight away mainly to get the person you are talking to, to have a look at the game so that they can understand the depth for themselves.

The reason that I have decided to talk about this topic today is mainly because without our past experiences we wouldn’t be the people we are today and we also wouldn’t get others to partake in what we have done or will do. Now what could I possible mean by all this, well if you think about it for a moment. If you were to talk to a close friend of yours that has just come back from a holiday that they really enjoyed and it was a place that you have through about going to and haven’t got round to it thus far and you hear how good it was from them, you might then consider going. Once you have then decided to go on this holiday and come back from it you will take it upon yourself tell said friend and others what you like out about the holiday. The two of you who have already gone on this holiday will then reminisce about it which in turn could have a positive effect on other to go on the same holiday one day.

Now nostalgia can also be very subtle and what I mean by this, is if you think about some of your favourite music track, your mind for some reason will bring up a memory that bought you joy from your past for no reason at all. A good example for me would be from an artist called Sonique and the track was called “It Feels So Good”. Now there is a part in this track that reminds me of the time when I was younger playing a video game called F-Zero-X(A futuristic racing game), where my mum made a comment about how good I was at a certain part of the race and whenever this part of the song comes on, my mind will always go back to that moment in time and play it out as if it was the first time.

So as you can see nostalgia has played two massive parts, one being getting other to partake in a similar holiday or hobbies and the other in bring back a very import and special moment from your past, but there is also one part of nostalgia that can also be very dangerous. 

If you read the first part of the definition you will clearly see what I am talking about “A wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life.” If you have ever heard the saying “You are living in the past” then you will know that some people will take it upon themselves to try and relive those memories or not move forward with their lives.

A good example I could us is by getting dumped by your girlfriend/boyfriend because you did something stupid and then decided to chase after said person to try and get them back because of all the good memories the two of you shared. What I believe you should do is take what you learned from that relationship and apply it to your new girlfriend/boyfriend without repeating what you did last time and don’t ever talk about your good memories you and your ex shared directly to your new girlfriend/boyfriend.

As I said before Nostalgia is a part of us and without it we wouldn’t be the people we are today. All I will say is enjoy and share your good memories with one another but don’t try and relive them.

Until next time