Ignorant world

When writing blog’s I try to stay away from any rants that I want to go on because I believe that some of my message or help might get lost with the rant but I believe that for once I may have to rant about this topic, the topic in question is S&B day and for those unaware of what this is I will take some time to talk about it and explain what I have wrong with it.

S&B day is widely known as Steak and Blowjob Day and this is where women give there other halves a Steak for Dinner and a Blowjob for dessert. This day was created by a fucking idiot called Tom Birdsey who used all forms of multimedia to get his message out that men should be given something back for all their hard work for Valentine’s Day (I should make the point that if you felling like that then why are you dating in the first place?).

If you haven’t already guessed I dislike everything about this on multiply levels and below are my reason and explanations.

1. It demeans women

The reason that I say this is because of the following quote that can be found on the Facebook page “Men work extremely hard to satisfy their lovers on Valentine’s Day”. To me this implies that woman should pay men back for everything they have done for them on Valentine’s Day. To me this is a narrow-minded and doesn’t take into account the bigger picture which leads me into the following point.

2. You shouldn’t be showing your love for one another once a year

As I have said multiply times when I have spoken about relationships in past blog, I have said that if you are with someone then you should be showing one another that you love one another even if that is by saying that you love them, complementing them in the way they look and what you like about them, doing something that the other is not expecting or just by sleeping with one another. And this is where I ask the question to Tom Birdsey (the idiot that created the whole thing), have you ever taken the time to look at your past relationships and asked yourself have you done what I have outlines above or has your partner done something similar to you?

3. Have you taken a moment to see what your other half did for you on Valentine’s Day?

Now a lot of place will make out that Valentine’s Day is all about the man doing something for the woman but if you look around and listen to people around you, you will find out that it is not that black and white anymore. Yes men do treat their other half to something on Valentine’s Day but at the same time woman have also done something for the men in their life too. Examples of this have been women going out buying new outfit and lingerie for that evening to spice thing up or getting them something in return. For me I believe that Tom Birdsey didn’t take any of these on board when creating his Steak and a Blowjob Day because to me I get the impression that he believes that women should be giving this to him anyway.

4. And there is another way to show your love other than this day.

And lastly we come to what I would call the crown jewel of this all, if Tom Birdsey had done any research before he went to the media and asked for the world to follow him in this fucking demeaning day he would have seen that there are countries around the world that follow up Valentine’s Day with another day which is twenty eight days later on March the 14^th. A good example of this is over in Japan where they have White Day, where Men that have received gift on Valentine’s Day return the favour on March 14^th.

If you haven’t already guessed it, I believe that this whole Steak and a Blowjob Day should be forgotten about completely and my reasons have been listed above but at the same time those that agree with this day need to really look at what they are doing in their relationship to beginning with. If you really want to do something after Valentine’s Day then all I can suggest is that you follow up that day with something that you have planned for both of you or even go as far as doing everything that I have listed in point 2.

So until Next time.

Showing your love on Valentine's Day

Today is Valentine's Day and like most countries around the world each one has its own way of celebrate the day. A good example of this would be my last years post that talked about the way in which the Japanese celebrate today but that is not the reason that I am here talking to you about Valentine's Day, no today I want to talk about what I have experienced and what I have seen when it comes to Valentine's Day.

To start with I will begin with those that dislike the day; a lot of people have said that they do not believe in today because they believe it to be nothing more than a Hallmark day (card companies just created the day to make lot of money). Yes I once believed that and I can also understand why people might think that, they could be thinking this because one they could have had a disappointing Valentine's Day before or maybe they could have planned sure a nice day for the person they love and a week before they could have been dumped. Those are just some of the examples that I can come up with but this one could also be linked into what I am able to talk about next.

Next is one that I have seen happen a lot over time and one that is to dump or end a relationship with their significant other today. I can only believe that this is the coward's way out of a relationship because some people believe that today gives them the excuses to tell someone else that that have had their eye on for some time that they really like them and that they want to end their current relationship to start this one with them (here's a hit, go grow yourself a pair of balls and tell them when you first get the felling that you don't want to be with them). If you haven't already guessed it already this is the one that I hate the most and is one that I can say that I have never done before and have no intention of doing because if you feel that you don't want to be in a relationship at the time don't wait until today say it.

Lastly I want to talk about the one which is more likely to happen today and that is we're two people wake up and express their love for one another on this day or when they get home after work. This is the one that I hope a lot of people will experience today because it will show how much you love one another and how much though you have given the day (unless you have said otherwise). Now the drawback to this is a double edge sword because it could tick every box that you were hoping for and more while at the same time it may not come any were near what you were expending (I know that this can happened to me before) which could also be linked to what I said a moment ago about not liking today.

The thing to remember when it comes to Valentine's Day is that planning in advance is the key to how well a day like today goes and showing your love on just one day a year is not good enough, you should be showing your significant other that you love them or want to be with all the time

I hope that you all have a good Valentine's Day and until next time.

Shall we have a talk?

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with one of my friends about sex, as I have said in some of my past blogs, we as a country tend not to talk too much about sex and that when we do we seem to get this idea that we need to exaggerate everything that we have done.

A big part of sex is that everyone has different likes and dislikes and because of this it can be hard to keep a relationship going, a good example of this is that me and my friend both know what we like when it comes to the bedroom but we discovered this by sleeping with many different partners. I should also point out that the two of us discovered this at a different partner numbers (the number of people we have slept with.) With this information we have tried to find partners that like what we like or are willing to try what we like.  

The thing is that if you are unsure of what you like when it comes to sex you don’t have to worry about it because as I just said everyone is different and it can take time for you to discover what turns you on.

It also brings me to the question about how much sex is needed to make a good relationship? The problem with this question is that everyone again is different and because of this one person could say that having sex everyday is good for their relationship while someone else might say that twice a week is good enough for them. As I said in my reflection blog, last year wasn’t the best of years for me and partner but this year I am doing everything that I can to make up for lost time and to get the ball rolling I had to be very blunt about it.

I should mention that it isn’t always best to do it that way because it could back fire on you but at the same time being blunt about some things might open both your eyes to what needs to be done in the first place.

Now when it comes to talking about sex you just need to be upfront and honest about it, there is no point in going over board by telling stories that aren’t true or have been exaggerate because there could be a time that you meet up with someone that you want to sleep with and that when you do finally sleep with them they could discovers that you aren’t as good as you made yourself out to be. Plus we all know that at some point in the relationship the question about how many people you have slept with will come up so again just be honest about it.

It is also good to talk about sex with those that are close to you because you might be able to learn something from them which you might like to try out with your partner but if that is the case try to make a point of not telling them where you heard or knew about this because again it could open up a can of worms that you might not be able to answer and in turn could end the relationship.

Sex has and will always be about showing someone what you like and dislike while at the same time pleasuring one another but when it comes to long term relationships and sex, talking with your partner and asking what they would like to do or try is a very helpful thing to do and again if they don’t know what they like then talk to them about it and see what they feel comfortable doing.

If you are still stuck for idea’s, watching a bit of porn can help out but remember that not everything in porn is as good as they make it out and like with all things watching it all the time when you are together could end up creating a problem that you might have to answer for.

At the end of the day sex is a very important part of any relationship and that if you want the relationship to last and stay healthy then you are going to need to talking about sex and if there is something that you don’t like or you are not comfortable with then again talk about it before hand.

Until Next Time.  

The last and most important thing to think about and something that I should also point out is that if you are having sex think about using some form of protection so that you don’t wake up one morning with a something you didn’t want.

Friends with Benefits

“You can’t be friends with the opposite sex without sleeping with them.”

Today I will be looking at the above quote that I have been hearing a lot over the past few years and if there is one thing that I have noticed is that it tends to be coming from those that are a lot younger than me. I know that we live in a country(UK) that tends to not talk too much about sex and that as we are now talking more about sex this quote has come about, but I do believe that this quote is a little over the top.

Friends is a word that get thrown about quite a bit these days but the bottom line is that friends are people that you can talk to and know inside and out without any motives behind your or their actions, while those that you work with and don’t know that well are what I would like to call acquaintances and tend to be the ones that you have a little attraction to and just end up having a one night stand with them or leaving things the way they are.

In reality if every male and female were sleeping with their friends then there wouldn’t be any long term relationships and because of this I have some theories as to why people believe that it okay for us to be sleeping with are friends and why this quote has appeared from that.

One of those theories is that both parties are involved in a long term relationship with someone else and that they have become bored with their relationship and have decided that sleeping with a friend or someone that they have become attracted too for a “no strips attached” relationship is away in which they are trying to spice up their love life’s.

My second theory is that someone may not have the confidence or feels like they lack the experience in the bedroom and believe that sleeping with a close friend will help them.

The one thing that tends to get over looked when friends sleep with friends is those that get caught in the middle of it all, I know that I have been luck mainly because If I have gotten bored with someone I have had the ball to say that the relationship is over and start looking for someone else and that is what you should being doing in the first place.

Now the part that tends to get over looked the most when people say that they are sleeping with their friends is the part about being attracted to someone in the first place. You don’t just sleep with someone because you want to sleep with them because deep down there is something inside you telling you that you are attracted to them and because of that you want to sleep with them. Yes I am also aware that as you get to know the opposite sex more sometimes you get feeling for said person and you do act on it.

If you are in ever of this two positions then I believe that you may want to your evaluate yourself and your relationship. If you are sleeping with someone for the experiences then at least you are being honest with yourself but at the same time are you sleeping you need to be asking yourself are you attracted to them.

So can you have a friendship with the opposite sex without sleeping with them, yes you can because a true friend is someone that is close to you that can help you when you need them. If you are sleeping with a friend then it means one of two things, one being that you have feeling with them and don’t want to admit that you want a relationship with them and second that you want to screw them just because you have some kind of attraction too them.

Until next time

What brought us together?

As you are all aware we have now entered the month of February and with that come the Hallmark day of all days, Valentine’s Day. Now I have nothing against this day and why should I because I do believe that having one day a year in which we can celebrate our loved ones is a good idea, come on the Japanese do it twice a year with February the 14^th and March the 14^th, (I will get into this later on in the month.)

As I have said a moment ago I have nothing against this month or Valentine’s Day and to a point I can sometimes find myself trying to be or am a hopeless romantic and in the past I have done some really weird shit to back this up.

A good example of this would be that I used to have a very large group of woman friends and that one year when I didn’t have anyone to share this day with I agreed to work the late night. What I found out a few days before was that everyone I was working with that night were also single, so to make them feel better I decided to by two dozen red roses and give all the single ladies two roses each to hopefully make them feel better (and before you ask no I didn’t have any ulterior motive behind it and yes you can have a lady friend and not have benefits with them and yes I will come to this all this by the end of this month.)

So as you can see I have done some weird shit over the years some of it I am proud of and some of it not, but this is not the reason we are here today.

Back at the beginning of January I ended up have a conversation with a couple of people from work who both said to me that they were thankful to god for their husband and their partner. Now at the time I wanted to write a blog about this but then decided to wait for two reason, one begin that I was going to cover relationship topics on my blog in February and that it would be a good jumping of spot for the rest of the month and second I wanted to make sure that I knew what my counter argument was going to be before I rushed in and wrote this, so let’s get started.

First of all, I have no problem with anyone’s religion as long as it is not thrust in my face all the time and second when it comes to love we as a species and may animals only have two reason to be in love with someone, first and most importantly is to reproduce and second for pleasure. With those out of the way let’s get to the details of why I believe god has nothing to do with you ending up being with the person you are with at the moment.

Now the first thing that comes to most of us when we are looking to date the opposite sex is what that person looks like and I believe this is the biggest contributing fact as to the reason why we end up approach someone in the first place. If you take a moment to thing about this you will realise that in your head you have already gotten a picture of what you would like a woman to look like (and no not the celebrate you want to date).

For argument sack you are looking for some that has nice eyes, good cheek bones, a big smile, long or short hair (add your own colour), a rough height, build and of course bust.

With that information along you already know what you are looking for before you even leave the house so all you have to do is fill in the blanks and go up to someone that you like the look of. I am fully aware that there is more to a woman than looks and I would be a testament to this because I have always believe that forty percent of the reason you go out with someone is because of their looks and the other sixty percent is down to intelligence and what you two have in common. The problem is that you can’t judge a book by its cover because you can’t go out with someone just on looks and that it takes time to build any kind of relationship with someone.

The other thing that you have to take into consideration is that for any relationship to work you have to put a lot of effect and work into it on both sides. While doing this you sometimes discovery that the two of you are not compatible and because of this the relationship ends and you go your own ways.

So I now come back to my original comment about having been in a conversation with two colleagues and them saying that they were thankful to god for their husband or partner because at the end of the day god has nothing to do with the reason as to why you two have met and the way in which the relationship turned out because it all comes down to what you as a person are attracted to and how much work or a like you are together that makes the relationship last.

Before I end today I should point out that media tries to tell us what good looks like and to me this is wrong, we all have different type of woman or man that we like the look off and because of this the media should show stop trying to impose its views on us. So if you are going out looking for the right woman or man for you then please find someone that you like the look of and not someone else trying to tell you what you should be looking for.

Until next time.